Book Review- Love and Respect

I know, I know. It is not Sunday and I am blogging. However, you will understand why if you stick with me through this post.

To reference my summer goal list [again], I can actually check one off now! I finished reading Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs today! I am excited to share my thoughts about this book with you all because it has changed me for the better in more ways than I can count, and hope that it would possibly do the same for you.

Let me preface this post by stating that I RARELY read books; not because I do not desire to (I actually have piles upon piles of books that I want to read) but because I have had to read academic books for the past eight years, with summers included, and therefore, have not made my way around to leisure readings. Sadly.

Love and Respect came my way through a good friend requesting it during a time that I was in a relationship. She and her boyfriend were also reading it and suggested that my boyfriend at the time, and I , should read it too. To be honest, I am not sure why this particular situation spoke louder than other book recommendations, but nonetheless, it did. I originally bought the book to read it with him, but then that happened. I was going to give up on reading the book, but instead I still bought it as my graduation gift to myself.

Therefore, let this post demonstrate to you that if someone has requested me a book, and I have read it in its entirety, it must be a good book to read!

Before I opened the book, I prayed that God would use it somehow, someway. Again, I reiterate that the book is intended for marriages. On the back cover it evens says, “A Marriage Book With A Difference.” However, God told me “You think I can’t use this book in your singleness? Just watch, I am going to teach you more than you would have ever known without the book. AND I am going to prepare you, your heart, your mind, your emotions, and your future husband through this book.”

I know my God is big, but I thought that was a pretty big statement.

As I read the book, apart the routine of daily life, I could not put the book down! I did think it was extremely repetitive with some parts, but as I have mentioned in my writing many times, in order for me to learn, I need repetition. Dr. Emerson bases the book off of Ephesians chapter five, verse 33:

33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

I find it incredible that the answer to fixing thousands of marriages (according to articles I have read about Love and Respect) is found right within the pages of Scripture. With as many other tools as people turn towards to fix their relationships (books, counselors, friends, family, etc.), the one true answer has always been right here all along. I love that Dr. Emerson based his work off of Scripture and constantly referred to this verse (and many others) to provide advice and challenges for men and women in all stages of life.

Throughout the book, I realized that God was indeed teaching me more than I could have ever learned without the book. It sounds silly [to me] but God decided to teach me about who He has created me to be, what I could learn about from my past relationships, my current singleness, and who He calls me to be as a wife some day all through one book.

I do not want to be the book reviewer who ruins the piece and leaves you with nothing to learn yourself if you decide to pick up a copy, but I do want to share a few (because there were way too many too write about) of my favorite/most convicting parts.

“The first step is to understanding just how husbands and wives communicate.” (23)

“What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.” (30)

“If a husband is commanded to agape-love his wife, then she truly needs love.” (37)

“A way to fully love a husband is to respect him in ways that are meaningful to him.” (46)

“Her heart longs to resolve things and to reconcile. Her husband matters to her more than any other adult on earth. In truth, her confrontation is a compliment.” (62)

“…a wife’s softened tone and facial expressions can do more for her marriage than she can imagine.” (65)

“…men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.” (70)

“…this isn’t about fairness; it’s about touching his spirit and possibly God will touch him as well.” (102)

“One of simplest yet most effective steps you can take is simply to share your day with her.” (143)

“As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.” (193)

“The problem many women have today– including Christian wives–is that they want to be treated like a princess, but deep down they resist treating their husbands like the king.” (209)

“A wife’s submission to God takes precedence over her submission to her husband.” (219)

“If your quietness is the right kind of quietness–respectful and dignified, not pouty and sour– he will move toward you.” (220)

“Your husband has a need you do not have, and that need is met in a way that feels unnatural to you.” (247)

“You can’t get what you need by depriving your partner of what your partner needs.” (253)

“Nobody can love perfectly and nobody can respect perfectly.” (277)

“Whatever I do for my spouse, I do it to Christ as well.” (279)

…………….

The question that personally still remains comes from the context of this statement:

“Men and women can look at precisely the same situation and see life much differently. Inevitably, their pink and blue lenses cause their interpretation of things to be at odd to some degree.” (33)

My question: If God created man and woman to be in relationship with each other, then why did He create us to communicate differently?

Perhaps you will grab yourself a copy of Love and Respect and find the answer!