That Thanksgiving-type-of-full

Everyone sitting around the table. Sounds of silverware clanging against the plates. Laughter over reminiscence. Sighs of satisfaction from full tummies. All of this, and it is not even November.

To be honest, it frustrates me that giving thanks is oftentimes isolated to the Thanksgiving holiday. In my last post (Searching) I wrote about the pursuit to constantly give God praise. While it still difficult for me most days, I am now able to maintain a broader perspective to see that there is always something for which I can say “Thank you, God.” The best part is, I really do not have to look all that far.

Yesterday I went to my alma mater town for some friends’ wedding. I knew that it was going to be an amazing reunion and an opportunity to soak in quality friendship (just like all of the six weddings I have this summer haha). I never expected returning to this town to be as emotional as it was for me. Yes, I am an emotional person, but since graduation, I feel as though my friends and I have done an amazing job of staying in touch, which has helped tremendously with life’s recent transitions.

Since I have placed such a large focus of my personal growth on what I do and do not get emotional over, it caught me off guard to find that I actually miss this tiny town. I miss being in the midst of crazy college kids (to an extent). I miss worshipping three days a week alongside my peers and profs. I miss serving coffee to amazing Kenyon students, profs, and locals. I miss the nature. I miss MVNU. I knew I would, but not like this- whatever this is.

The day before traveling back to The Vern, as us Naz students would call it, I decided to contact some of my small group members from the church I attended in town while at school. I miss having them invest in my life on a weekly basis. Sure they were all married, with kids of their own, but they served a vital role in my time at MVNU…probably moreso than what I could ever express. A few of them even treating me as if I was one of their own. One of the men in the small group who served as a father-figure to me said he and his family were available to go from a brunch, and so we did. It was a wonderful time of catching up over the past couple of months and looking ahead to what our lives would be like. The amount of time and energy this family has placed into getting to know me and care for me makes me feel (and know) that I will always have a home to come to in this tiny town.

Shortly after, I went to the wedding and continued to hang out with the bestest of friends. As difficult as it is to go to wedding after wedding while being single, I am thankful that it has been surrounded by those that I call my framily (friends+family).

After the wedding, the party continued. We went to ice cream and dinner, in that order and it was a ton of fun. We talked about our years spent together, how life already looks a ton different, but also how we are thankful for where we know God is taking us. I am encouraged when surrounded by such amazing framily because I know that it is only by God’s grace that they are in my life, and only be which they will remain. MVNU was such a good place. It was where framily was made.

Just as I was about to head back for the city, I remembered that it was a Saturday! *so you are thinking “What is the big deal? Saturday is a Saturday.”* Well, for four years straight, Saturday, to me, meant Wagon! MVNU has ministry outreach groups that students could be a part of and Wagon was my heart’s choice for my time in The Vern. So, since I was in town, I decided I would drop in for a surprise visit!

Oh boy was that fun! Not much seemed to have changed, but at the same time, I noticed a bunch has changed. I am not quite sure what to think about it all.

Talking to some of the youth and adults was still as difficult as it always was, but revisiting restored my desperation to pray for them. Just a glimpse into their eyes reminded me of their need for something far greater than they have ever known. I may not be able to give it to them directly, but through those four years, I sure hope that I was a vessel for them to access that something greater. I miss those stories. Even though they were not simply stories, they were people. To serve them again, to listen to them again, to hug them again…it was needed- maybe not by them, but by me.

On my drive back home I cried. That deep, big, sobbing, yet joyful type of cry. I had been overwhelmed with all that my day encompassed. It may be strange but I love that overwhelming feeling. The type of feeling you get after eating all of that amazing home cooked food at the Thanksgiving meal. The amount of fulfillment in me is more than I can describe because it was God and He is indescribable.

Those whom the Lord has strategically placed into my life continue to amaze me. How does He do it? How does He know just what I need, and when I need it? How could He possibly care for me this much? How do I deserve these bountiful blessings?

I am not sure that I have the answers to any of those questions, but I am hanging on to conviction of perpetual praise in my life. Yes, I am fully aware that every day will not be like yesterday- where it is as “easy” to thank God for what He has done and is doing. However, yesterday was a reminder that God is more than able to do exceeding and abundantly more than I could ever ask or imagine.

I traveled to Mount Vernon for a wedding yesterday. I left Mount Vernon with an unexpected full heart of Thanksgiving-type-of-thankfulness.

Let this be my daily story.