Put the Fuel in Full

Another week, another blog. Much has happened, yet again, I feel as though I have very few words. I cannot quite describe this season. That may be the part which troubles me the most.

You know where I have found myself this past week? Persistently searching. I got my ukulele back out, I scrapbooked in my journal more, I went out on a photography adventure (nonwork-related), caught up with my big sis, and read more.

You know where I did not find myself this past week? In much prayer. I certainly tried. At this point, I am not sure what the golden ticket would be, but what I can say is that I am not giving up (insert Charlie and the Chocolate Factory reference here).

I think the searching materials I just mentioned above are all ways in which I speak to God, access Him, or allow Him to speak to me, but I know there is more. I want that more.

What gives you energy? What gives you happiness? What gets you excited (or on level 12 as my big sister, Molly, would say)? What gives you purpose?

I know that this summer has taught me an abundance thus far, but the one that keeps running through my mind is combination of introversion and extroversion I find within myself. I just read an article from Science of People and in it, it defines this mixture as, ambivert. Most of you probably have already heard of this term before, so I apologize that I am a tad late. Now that Iunderstand myself a bit more, I feel like I can appreciate who I am a bid more (reference to one of my summer goals).

So what is the point? Cool, I am getting there.

What I have learned about myself is that is vital for me to have introvert and extrovert moments every single day. In the morning and evenings I truthfully need time for just me and Jesus. Then in the mid day, I really need to see some humans, hear their voices, share some laughs, etc. Without some of both, I have discovered that I get off track. “Off track” for me looks like lack of energy, happiness, excitement, and purpose – all of which I believe are tactics of the enemy.

Now that I know I am not weird (or maybe I am, which is perfectly cool with me), I can definitely put times in place where I can fuel both sides of my personality so that I am full. Before this week, I felt that I was in the wrong for needing to isolate myself to a quiet place, for not doing what everyone else was doing, or for not always having a smile on my face. After all, God created me just as He saw fit, right? So, why not embrace this? -and by this, I mean, all sides of who I am.

Yes, I love people and getting out to fellowship and have a good time, but man o man, I sure do need my moments to just take life in. Breathe.

This week’s short term goal: fully embrace what fuels me to be fulfilled.