Me? Are you sure?

I had a interesting past seven days. A good kind of interesting. The kind of interesting that could not have been planned for if attempted.

There have been many more times that I can count where I have felt inadequate than effective in my life. From being too short to pursue dance professionally, to being unable to speak into the lives of others who have battled addictions. The life of living in inadequacies is quite exhausting.

This week taught me that I am useful right where I am. Whoa. That is crazy cool.

Normally I am the one needing a shoulder to cry on (literally), but this week I was the shoulder (figuratively). I had five different friends seek out my advice, prayer support, and encouragement. Please do not read this and think that I am asking for a round of applause or a A+ sticker. Instead, I am taking the time to reflect on the possibilities of God in the midst of my impossibilities.

Coming out of a [what I call a] dry spiritual season, one friend ask for prayer in the midst of their own similar season.

Being a former manager at a job, a friend asked for advice on how to stand up in the midst of unfairness with coworkers.

Being in the position of fearing the unknown, a friend ask for prayer for understanding and grace.

Struggling with anxiety, a friend asked for prayer for peace.

Even as a single, a friend asked for advice and prayer in their relationship.

I chose to be specific in sharing the ways that I was honored to be the shoulderthis past week because I think there is power in those specifics. Even though each of the situations were different, something that they all had in common was my hesitation to feel worthy of being used.

I am not a pastor.

I am not a manager.

I have fear.

I have anxiety.

I am single.

Those are all facts. They all hold a bit of demeaning weight. If I am not careful, I allow them to become my identity. BUT GOD, says “So. I am still going to use you…and by the way, thank you for making yourself available.”

That is it. Simple. Availability.

I do not think that I have been the best at giving materialistically. It is hard for me. Yet, the things that I believe I have been gifted to give are my time, words, and ears.

*thank you to those five friends for allowing me to listen *

A perpetual goal of mine [and thus one that did not make the summer of 2016 list] has been to become a better listener. This week, I had many opportunities to practice listening. It was difficult, but it was rewarding. Listening more challenges me to speak to God before I speak to others. I am sure you have seen or heard this question somewhere before: “Do you talk about it more than you pray about it?”

As a despiser of clichés, normally I roll my eyes and continue to scroll through my feed, but this one gets me every time. Listening=opportunity=to hear=to learn=to grow=to pray.

I still may not think I am good enough, but my availability, mixed with my desire to be used by God far surpasses those thoughts. Me? Yes, He chose me. He is choosing me.

He will choose you too-just be sure to listen.