Sit With Bethany

There is much I could write about from these past two weeks, and I wish I had the energy and time to do so. However, grad school duties call, and so do my eyelids...but I am at least sticking to my goal of blogging once a week!

So, I am 23 now! Nothing feels different. (I lowkey despise that question every year). I had the best birthday that I possibly could have had in the midst of a school year. "Perks" of a September birthday! WOO!

My mom came all the way to Pittsburgh to pick me up. We adventured to some new yummy places in my neighborhood, and were then on our way to Uprise Festival in Shippensburg! I had been to Creation Festival before, but never Uprise. Both were similar. When checking the lineup for the bands, I was stoked! A few of the artists I had already seen before (Chris Tomlin, Matthew West, and David Crowder), but there were others that I have not had the chance to see until now: Mandisa, Danny Gokey, and Sidewalk Prophets! I loved getting to worship with all of them. So, so much fun. What really took me by surprise were the backup dancers for Mandisa! Now, I can speak this critique from a dancer's and minister's perspective (and I do mean this out of the kindness of my heart), typically you do not see technically trained dancers alongside Christian music. But there is a movement coming, I can confirmed that! I was SO impressed---I mean, to the point where I had to check myself and remember that I was at a worship concert. Forreal.

Side note: if I ever need to get a night job alongside my PT day job, a back up dancer for Mandisa is what I pick :)

I loved getting that time with my mom too. She and I were able to talk about life, worship together, and be present with each other while I studied. She rocks...just like the pebbles she got me for the mason jars of my herb window garden birthday gift! (pun intended).

Meeting fellow brothers and sisters in Christ was also one of the best parts of my birthday. People from all walks of life, coming together for a common purpose. To me, there is nothing like your spiritual family. Call me crazy, but they are often times closer than my own blood. No lie.

I may never again see those new family members in this life, but it sure was a blessing to spend two nights a worship with them.

I also had one brief morning with my dad and sister, back home-home. It was nice. I do miss them and think about them often. I am always thankful for the sporadic moments the four of us have to share together. Living on my own definitely makes me wish that there were opportunities to go back and be more intentional about the times that the four of us could have spent together. Yet, nothing of the past can change, so I know I need to just focus on those few and far between moments that we do share now.

Returning home to Pittsburgh was nice because I got to show my mom my new church. She enjoyed it and felt as though I picked a wonderful community of believers to become a part of. On that note, this past Sunday was small group connect, where we could sign up for a small group(s) that we were interested in. I was definitely that newbie/"freshman"-like lady who signed up for a bunch, ya know...just to be safe! haha!

Well, I went to the first small group session, for one of the groups I signed up for, and let's just say that I will be needing to send out some emails to the others two small group leaders letting them know that I have already found my fam. Again, just to reiterate how important it is, for me, to find people to grow and live in relationship with, who are believers!

I am overjoyed that I have now "checked off" two of the most important parts of my transition to Pittsburgh: finding an on campus bible study, and a small group at my church. This is only the beginning, because now I have my foot in the door for outreach/serving opportunities, and I simply cannot wait!

As a natural giver, this season of transitioning as been particularly difficult because I feel as though I do not have to give. Or, if I do have to give (because in comparison to the majority, I am so stinking blessed) what is it?

Yesterday, when I was eating lunch at my apartment, I decided to put my phone on the complete opposite side of the room. Keep my record player off. And I just sat with my thoughts. I knew this could be potentially dangerous, but I was prayerfully ready to accept whatever it was the Lord wanted to speak to me about. I began to wrestle with Him with these feelings of selfishness. Everything about coming to Pittsburgh feels selfish. Here was my mental breakdown:

I came to Pittsburgh.

I am in PT school.

I am living in my own apartment.

I am adventuring out to new places.

I am making new friends.

All of those statements seem incredibly selfish when I read them. Now, I know that I am pursing the Lord with all that I am, and so that would indicate that this is not a selfish pursuit. Yet, why then does this season feel like it is selfish?...

I guess, I am longing to see the fruits--- constantly trying to live in the future, when there is a bunch to be said about right now. But hey, I knew this would happen when choosing to sit in silence. Silence is not bad; it just leads to... a lot.

The additional difficult part to this week took place in my walk to and from my favorite coffee shop (thus far) in the city. I love getting around on foot, and my new bike, as I have mentioned time and time again. It makes for seeing the world from an entirely new perspective, including the people you see.

Well, when I walk, I make a conscious effort to smile and say hello to those I come by. After a little over a month of living here, I have come to the consensus that our world in general needs more love. Whoa. Shocker, I know. I think I am on to something huge here.

But seriously, there is something wrong with not being able to look someone in the face, acknowledge them, and engage. I know not everyone is outgoing, having a fantabulous day, or comfortable with this, but my heart breaks when others' eyes get big, or they turn around to do a double take, all out of shock; as if human interaction is some type of alien? Something unheard of? Now, I am aware that I over analyze, but this still breaks my heart.

At the surface level, strangers cannot even look at each other. That is a problem. How on earth can we expect to reach people with the love of Christ, if the mere surface level interactions are completely absent? Maybe this calls for getting out of our comfort zones and speaking up even when someone's eyes are down? Maybe this means initiating conversation in the lines at the grocery store? I am not sure. All I know, is that I feel like being radical. So, I am starting what I am going to call the "Smile a Mile" movement.

I am known for being cheesy. So, I give you permission to laugh. Just know, I am sincere about this. If you care to join me, let's make this a thing. It is free, and simple. All it requires is to not let a single person you come in contact with each day go without a smile...and if you feel so lead to go the extra mile, say "hello" or "how are you today?" and watch what beauty will unfold.

I am firm believer in the small things making a huge difference, and so this is where I am choosing to start :)

Now, I must return to the muscles. If you read my blogs, and reached this point, I would greatly appreciate you adding me to your prayer list. This week is a heavy exam one, and I simply want the Lord to be glorified in all of it. May His Will be done, not mine.

Thank you blog family, and as always, please share this with whomever you may feel could benefit from my ramblings :) I would love to hear your thoughts as well!

Peace.